© 11 Colin Melbourne
I Forgive You but…
Q: Dear Colin, I asked both God, and my friend, for forgiveness from my sin. I know God has forgiven me completely. My friend said he has forgiven me, however, he added that I am never to contact him again, because of my transgression I cannot be trusted. Forgiveness has no limits, conditions, or stipulations. How can this be forgiveness? Sheryl
A: You do not say if your friend is a Christian. If he’s not saved, he’s doing well, if he is a Christian he needs to improve the quality of his forgiveness to match his Lord’s.
The tone of resentment in your question implies he’s Christian, and that you expect to experience God’s complete forgiveness from your friend too.
However, you have no room to quibble over any conditions he attaches. You blew it. You must bear the consequences of your sin against him.
Treasure in Jars of Clay
He may be a nominal Christian (not a real one), or young in Christ, undiscipled, not Spirit-filled, or out of fellowship himself.
I can also think of cases where it would be wise and godly to set conditions when you forgive somebody.
For example, a common situation is an unsaved drug addict husband, stealing from family funds to pay for his sin.
Caught in the act, he repents. The long-suffering Christian wife forgives him, but forbids him access to the fund until he gets saved and drug-free.
Their children’s education and welfare is threatened by his habitual untrustworthiness. The godly wife has to take charge of the finances.
The foolish junkie then whines about her “not really forgiving, or loving, him like God does”.
Learn From Your Mistakes
Your only concern is obeying God, and forgiving those who sin against you, just as Father has forgiven you.
If a Christian refuses to forgive you, or adds conditions, that is their problem, not yours.
Avoid the pitfalls of resentment and hypocrisy. Challenge yourself to ensure that your forgiveness is up to God’s standard.
Christians live in divine forgiveness for everyone who sins against them in any way.
We forgive them the instant we discover they have sinned, we do not wait for them to come to us and ask for forgiveness.
Why Christians Forgive Every Sin Against Them
The reason is simple. To keep our fellowship with Father sweet and clean.
Unforgiveness is sin, and sin strangles your fellowship with Father God.
If you want your prayers answered, you have to forgive everyone who sins against you. Mtt. 6:14-15, Mk. 11:25. Read 1 Jn. 3:18-24 in the Holy Spirit for the key to walking in the Light.
When the person comes to you and asks forgiveness, you forgive them of the sin, and that restores your fellowship with them.
Your fellowship with Father was unimpaired because you forgave the sin long before.
Now you understand, Praise the Lord!
The world perceives physical beauty, but is blind to the beauty that thrills God’s heart, and the hearts of real Christian men: Do you think I’m beautiful?
© 11 Colin Melbourne
