© 19 Colin Melbourne
Q: Whilst chatting with a Christian about getting married she mentioned, “Marriage should only be in the Lord.” Does it mean that God approves of marriages in a church, but not those in a registry office?
A: No, the phrase has nothing to do with the location of the marriage service.
Unholy Alliances
Plenty of marriages are performed in a church setting that are nonetheless doomed from the outset: The reason being, they are marriages that are not in the Lord: But marriages outside the Lord.
Only in The LORD
The phrase only in the Lord is used by the Holy Ghost in 1 Co. 7:38-39 KJV, where He gives guidance on who is permitted to marry whom, for example here, writing of virgin daughters and widows;
So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better.
The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.
The meaning of only in the Lord becomes crystal clear, when understood in conjunction with this precious passage; 2 Co. 6:14-18 KJV
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?
And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.
Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you, And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.
Yoked Together
Marriage is being metaphorically yoked together, isn’t it?
Two beasts are yoked to a plough, and pull together in the same direction.
Picture a pair of oxen strapped into a yoke, one facing backwards, and the other facing forwards, then try ploughing a furrow!
Bullock Cart Engine
It’s no better if they are both facing forwards, but one pulls to the left and the other to the right.
That’s the situation in marriages outside the Lord, and so Christians are warned to avoid that snare.
Father is not going to lead His child to marry a; spendthrift, boozer, drunkard, pill-popper, junkie, adulterer, thief, liar, sodomite, or lesbian, is He?
No, of course not!
God doesn’t want His children marrying sinners, unbelievers, rebels, perverts, and phonies.
However, that is only a fraction of the meaning of the admonition to marry only in the Lord.
Take Your Pick?
There are numerous unmarried believers, so is it reasonable for a Christian to choose which one to marry?
Regrettably, that’s too often the situation with those who call themselves Christian, and the reason why divorce statistics are the same for nominal Christians as non-Christians!
Now we glimpse the full meaning of marrying in the Lord.
Believers Follow
A real Christian is one who believes in the LORD Jesus Christ, and follows Him as LORD.
Calling Jesus your Lord without following Him is plain hypocrisy: Not Christianity.
Following Christ as LORD means; you do not decide what you do, where you go, who you marry, where you work, how you spend your money, and so on.
Such decisions are made for you by your LORD aren’t they?
If not: Jesus is not your LORD.
He’s a fig-leaf you wear, and such people do not pass God’s Judgment.
The denominations are replete with such-like: Come out and be separate.
Follow Christ as your LORD in spirit and truth, let Him lead you through this valley of Death, this wilderness of sin, and you will begin to live in The Promised Land of God’s Presence, and His Anointing here on Earth today.
It is a most precious state, won for us through the Blood and Body of The LORD Jesus Christ.
The Secret Place
Don’t spend a second outside of God’s will for your life.
When Christ is your LORD; you happily do whatever He says, what the New Covenant scriptures tell you to do, you follow His written word, you listen to His rhema word to your heart, and get your LORD’s instructions: You embrace His Plan: Not yours!
The written word of God and the Spirit of God govern your life in every detail.
Is this new to you?
It is basic discipleship: Submitting your will to Father’s in everything, just as Jesus of Nazareth did.
In every thing.
Not My Way
If you want to be a failure in life: Make you own decisions, follow your own will, do what you want to do. Please yourself.
But Father’s Way
If you want to be a success in life; learn to attend to God’s Spirit, and obey every leading He gives you. Please your Lord and Saviour.
Choose this day who you are going to follow.
© 19 Colin Melbourne
Spirit-filled Teaching on Marriage and Divorce 
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