© 09 Colin Melbourne
Matrimonial Problems
Q: I have some doubts regarding marriage. Is marrying a girl who is older than the man, right or wrong according to the word of God? I have asked various believers and pastors, and have received mixed opinions. One reason that people don’t agree with it is the biological reason. But apart from that, is it really wrong in the sight of God, or is it something that is not according to the will of God? Samuel
Little Women in God’s Hand: These women have found something far more exciting than romance. They don’t fret over wrinkles and grey hair, because they have the Perfect Man, and He makes them more beautiful each day.
Older and Wiser?
A: Good question Samuel. Both older men and older women are generally wiser, especially if they are Christian, so ought to make a better spouse, but sadly there are many exceptions.
The biological reason you mention is that ova of women over forty years of age have more genetic abnormalities, leading to a greater incidence of chromosome defects, especially Down’s syndrome, in babies born to women over forty.
I find no definite instruction in the word regarding the relative ages of marriage partners. Though we have the example of Adam and Eve as a clue. Adam was “older” than his wife, by at least a few hours.
I think it wise not to marry a woman older than yourself. The husband is to be the “head” of the wife in the home, and an older wife would baulk at that, feeling herself more mature than her younger husband.
There is no question that, culturally, marrying a woman older than yourself is universally frowned upon.
So, you’ll find yourself having to defend it in most societies, as well as constantly dealing with whispering and strange looks.
Marriage God’s Way
May I say you’re approaching this from the wrong angle.
It is obvious that you, or relatives, are choosing a wife, and both strategies are unwise.
Your problem is solved when you embrace the following advice from the Bible:
Let the LORD choose a wife, and only marry if and when He clearly tells you to.
Consider that He may not even want you to marry at all in these perilous final days. 1 Co. 7:1-8 and 27.
“Lord” means you do as He leads, not as you choose.
Marry or Burn?
If you are filled with the Holy Spirit, and serious about following Christ, then you have the power to be self-controlled, and will be wiser to remain single.
If you are carnal, and half-hearted about the Lord, you may feel better married, but you will certainly experience much more trouble. (See 1 Co. Ch.7.)
Arranged Marriage
If match-making peers are planning your future and pressuring you to marry, respectfully remind them that your first allegiance is to the Lord who gave His life for you, and His advice takes precedence over everyone else.
And precedence over your own will, if He really is your Lord.
You can see that it is of paramount importance to walk in the Spirit, and stick close to the Lord, so that you develop the ability to recognize His leading and His Voice.
So get filled, and stay in step with Him, and He will direct the steps of your life better than you or anybody else can. Jer. 10:23, Pr. 20:24. Ps. 37:23.
As the Father sent Him, He sends us, to continue His ministry with His Power. Let Kenyon help you discover how to use the limitless power Christ has given those who follow Him, and for whom nothing is impossible. Words that Move Mountains
© 09 Colin Melbourne
You may also wish to read:
7 Marriage Tips
Marriage in The LORD: What does it mean?
How to Possess Your Vessel
Sex & Marriage Faq
Circumcision and FGM
If I Were A Woman
Facts of Life for Kids
